I keep falling into the trap of ‘if I want something done right, I have to do it myself’, meaning I’m drowning under my workload because I struggle to delegate. My team is great, but it’s hard for me to let go of control. Help!

This one really hit home for me as I have struggled with this too! I used to tell myself, ‘It’s just easier if I do it’. Only when I found myself at breaking point in terms of workload did I really sit down and dig into this.

Was I finding it hard to let go because it was:

• something I enjoyed doing?
• a task where the stakes were so high that didn’t feel I could pass it on?
• a task I wasn’t clear enough about in terms of what needed to be done and what the end result should look like?
• something that I just couldn’t bring myself to trust other people with?

When I looked at the tasks that I didn’t delegate, but should have, all of these reasons cropped up.

Let’s unpack them.

If it’s a task that you enjoy doing, ask yourself if this is something you actually ‘should’ be doing. Is it the best use of your time? If someone else can do this task as well as you, then you should pass it on so you can focus on the more difficult and urgent tasks on your list. Also, consider whether you are holding onto this task because you’d rather be doing this than doing something else; you can tell yourself you’re ‘busy’ doing this but, really, it may be that you are avoiding tackling something more complex or daunting. It’s harsh but it’s true – and I’ve been there!

If it’s a high stakes task, it’s quite possible that it is something you shouldn’t delegate – but this doesn’t mean to say that you can’t be assisted with this type of task. Instead, look at splitting it up into smaller parts. Ask someone to do research, collate data, create tables or format a document. This way, you retain the accountability but won’t get buried in detail.

If you’re not clear on the end result it’s probably a task that involves some form of creativity or investigative work. As with high stakes tasks, break up the work into smaller chunks and look at how you could delegate elements of it to free up some of your time. You don’t have to do everything from start to finish!

If it’s a task that you can’t bring yourself to trust someone else with, it’s possibly because you don’t feel that they have the skills or the knowledge needed to do it to the standard that is required. That’s okay. It might well be true – but how will your team learn if they are not stretched? Is there someone on your team who has the capacity and interest to take on additional tasks and is looking to develop? Does this task facilitate some teachable moments and CPD opportunities?

You might be reading this and thinking ‘This is all great but I just don’t have the time to delegate!’ To this, I say, if you invest time in learning to delegate now, you will free up so much time for yourself in the future! I know, I know – we SBLs are true control freaks at heart, but there are systems and ‘fail safes’ you can put in place to help with that.

• Prioritisation – whether it’s a whole task you’re delegating, or part of a bigger task, your staff will need to be clear on precisely what needs to be done and when it needs to be done by. For more complex tasks, you might also have to specify a how and a why so they can do the task to the standard you require, and understand the context they are working in, as well as the overall importance of what they’re expected to do.
• Monitoring progress – ensure that you check in with your staff regularly so that you can answer any questions they have, provide feedback if things are going a bit awry and generally make them feel supported. This is especially important for new tasks where there is a steep learning curve. They won’t know what they don’t know, so keeping the communication lines open means that they won’t get stuck and you won’t be in for any surprises if there has been a misunderstanding somewhere along the line.
• Set sensible deadlines – don’t set a deadline that’s an hour before a critical meeting, or the day before an auditor is due to come in. Give yourself space to review the work that’s been done and to pick up on any issues. This will allow you enough time to either ask for any changes to be made or to make them yourself.
• Don’t give in to the temptation of micromanagement – delegation involves handing over some level of autonomy, especially if you’ve not specified how the task should be completed or it’s a task that you’ve handed over as a full project, from start to finish. These are the teachable moments so how you monitor progress, and how you provide feedback, is as much about supporting and developing your team as it is about getting the job done.
• Ask for feedback – as well as checking in throughout the process, make sure you ask your staff how they feel after the task has been completed. Ask them if you were clear, whether they had what they needed and whether they felt able to approach you with any questions.

There is no doubt that delegation requires a different way of working but, by being smart about it, you can still retain enough control to keep you sane, free up lots of time and demonstrate confidence and trust in your team.

If you’re still freaking out, take baby steps at first – choose sensible, straightforward tasks to delegate and set simple goals and deadlines that won’t trigger an apocalypse if something does go wrong. You CAN do this, and it will be SO worth it. Trust me!

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Written for: Education Executive Magazine (@edexec)

Happy New Year everyone! It’s a new year, a new term and a fresh start. The long slog of Autumn is behind you and you’re ready to hit the ground running. 

Or are you?

Sure, for some us the Autumn term is always the worst and we breathe a sigh of relief just knowing that it’s over. But for others, the thought of going back to work and picking up where we left off is enough to have us hiding under our desks, wishing that we had just a few more days of lie-ins and Netflix shows to binge on.

So, how do you know if this is just the normal ‘January blues’ or whether the New Year has magnified all the negative thoughts, feelings and anxieties that you have about your job for the other 11 months of the year?

To help you figure out how you really feel about your job and whether you should consider a change, I’ve put together the below guide to help you pinpoint exactly how you feel, why you feel that way and what you can do about it.

Your Job

First of all, think about how your job makes you feel. It doesn’t matter if you work for the best school in the world if you don’t actually enjoy what you do.

When someone asks you about your job, how do you answer? What language do you use when you talk about what you do with your friends, your family or your partner? Thinking about how you describe your job to other people is a good way to get an insight into how you really feel deep down.

When you think about the actual nitty-gritty of your to-do list, how much of what you do, do you actually enjoy? Sure, some of the specifics may not be glamorous or exciting but does the sense of accomplishment you get from a job well done make it all worthwhile? 

We all know that the job of SBL comes with many challenges, work/life balance being a critical one. I maintain that this is not a science – it’s different for everyone and we all have different tolerances and mechanisms to keep things as balanced as we can. But if you feel like you’re constantly out of balance or you’re heading for burn out, then that’s something you can’t ignore. If this is something you’re struggling with, consider where these pressures and expectations are coming from and whether there’s anything you can do to shift things to a more positive and healthy place.

Where You Work

Now spend some time thinking about where your work. You might still be in love with your job but you’re just not working for the right organisation and it’s time for a change.

Earlier, I said how you speak about your job to others can give you an idea as to how you really feel. Now think about how you speak to others about your school. Are you proud to tell people where you work? Would you recommend that someone apply for a job there?

Now think about your line manager and your colleagues. Do you have good relationships with them? Are interactions positive, supportive and respectful? You don’t have to be BFFs with everyone but considering how much of your life you spend at work, it’s important that overall, your relationships are healthy and are not having a negative impact on you.

What about the opportunities you have at work? Does your organisation recognise the skills you have and the great work that you do? If you don’t feel supported, recognised or invested in, then this is bound to affect how you not only view your role but also your organisation. 

What Should You Do?

If any of the above has hit a nerve, then consider these questions:

1. How long have I been feeling negatively about my job? 
2. Where does the bad feeling come from?
3. Is this a temporary situation and is change on the horizon?
4. Does where I work impact on how I feel about my role and whether I feel I can do it well?
5. Does my relationship with my line manager or colleagues negatively affect me in my role and is there anything I can do about that?
6. Do I control my work schedule or is it controlling me? 
7. What changes can I make to my role or the way that I work to make things better for myself?
8. What aspirations do I have for the future and do I feel supported to achieve them?
9. Do I need support to improve my situation and if so, where can I find it?
10. Is this really the job and/or organisation for me and if not, is it time to make a change?

You might have read this article and decided that you’re absolutely in the right job and working at the right school. If so, congratulations! Know that these ‘January blues’ will pass and that you’re on the right path.

But if you’ve read this and you’ve found yourself muttering to yourself in exasperation, then there’s really only one thing for it. Use your reflections and newfound clarity to create a plan. It could be a change plan, an exit plan or a career plan. It doesn’t matter if it’s finely detailed or broad brushstrokes and it doesn’t matter if it’s a six-week plan or a six-month plan. Just know that by taking action you will not only move forward, you will empower yourself to achieve the job satisfaction you deserve. 

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Written for: Education Executive Magazine (@edexec)

At the beginning of each year I think, “It’s time for a change” – and each year, while more gets piled onto my plate at work, nothing changes. I don’t know how to stand up for myself and I’m sure I’ve become known as a doormat. Now that everyone thinks that, and takes advantage of it, how do I break out of that mould and speak my mind?

I feel your pain. I’ve been there. We think if we take more on then people will see us as more valuable, more efficient and part of the team. What we’re really doing is making our time less valuable, ourselves more inefficient and, likely, carrying members of the team who should be pulling more of their own weight!

As SBLs we are programmed to fix and firefight any issues that come our way. However, if staff constantly come to us with something to fix, and we do it, we don’t realise that we are not making things better. Instead, we are inadvertently creating a situation where staff don’t feel that they have to keep to deadline, or to plan appropriately, because we will swoop in and save the day.

The first thing you need to ask yourself is, “How have I got here?”

• Is it taking on jobs that aren’t yours?
• Is it saying ‘Yes’ to too many people at once?
• Is it not being able to say ‘No’?
• Is it because you’re worried what will happen if you say ‘No’?
• Is it not feeling able to delegate?

Maybe it’s just one, or maybe it’s a combination of all these things. It doesn’t matter. All of these things require one solution. Boundaries.

You need to define them, establish them and maintain them. By setting boundaries, not only will you feel more confident, you will be able to hold others to account in terms of them doing their actual job, meeting their own deadlines and not getting away with dumping on you. Here’s how:

Create structure in as many parts of your role as you can

• What you do – what does your job require of you (so you can get clear on what isn’t required).
• How you do it – is it all you, is it something that can be delegated, does it need input from other people (so you can organise and arrange meetings and follow-ups accordingly).
• When you do it – what your deadlines are (so you can prioritise your tasks and time)

Look at your list and now compare it to your current to-do list. How many things are:

• not priority;
• not your job;
• not doable without support/input from others.

Come up with a plan to deal with everything you’ve listed such as:

• Review deadlines and prioritise accordingly against your core role and tasks.
• Communicate revised deadlines to relevant people.
• Request further input/support from relevant people.
• Delegate or pass on anything that isn’t your job to the person whose job it actually is.

Establish a language that clearly communicates your boundaries to others in a variety of situations, such as:

• “Of course, I’ll look at this in more detail and let you know when I can get this done by.”
• “I understand that this is a priority for you but if I do this before that and that then it’s going to create a conflict/means that won’t get done. I’m afraid it will have to wait but I’ll get to it as soon as I can.” (Depending on who is asking and what the task is, you might say, “What would you like me to do first?” or, “I’ll check this out with the head and see how s/he would like me to deal with this.”)
• “I can see why you’ve asked me about this but it’s actually someone else’s I’ll pass it on/You should pass it on.”
• “From what you’ve said, I’m not clear exactly what’s involved – can you please explain it to me in more detail so I can prioritise accordingly?”
• “I’m working on something else at the moment but I’ll ask one of my team to look at this and get back to you if I/they need more information.”
• “I’ve taken this as far as I can with the information that I have. I’m passing this to you/back to you and, when you’ve done your part, we can get together and discuss what the next step should be.”
• “This task has been on my list for a while but I can’t complete it until someone provides me with this. When I have what I need, I’ll let you know when I can get it done by.”
• “I have a number of deadlines that I’m working to right now and, if you leave this with me, it just won’t get done in the time you’ve specified. If it can wait, that’s great. If not, it might be quicker to do this yourself/ask someone else.”

You don’t have to go into work and suddenly announce your new boundaries. You don’t have to start shouting “No” to everyone who crosses your path; you don’t have to become a whole new person overnight! Start with this plan and try out some of the phrases above and see how it feels. By doing this, you are educating others about your boundaries. The more consistent you are, the more those around you will gradually learn and start thinking before they ask you for something, making the whole process a little less scary and a lot more manageable.

Brené Brown, one of my favourite authors, says, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” I say, let them be disappointed. Let them see that you are not a doormat, your time should be respected and, with appropriate boundaries in place, you will get the job done!

A stressed out SBL is not good for your school and it’s not good for you. By setting boundaries, not only will your workload improve, so will your wellbeing. Choose you, and don’t apologise to anyone for it!

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Written for: Education Executive Magazine (@edexec)

“I often feel like I don’t have anything to offer when it comes to being a useful cog in my SLT – how can I feel like more of a team player, and come across as such?”

Picture this: the building you’re standing in is cold and dark. No lights, no heating. The doors are wide open and the corridors are smelly and filthy. Classroom cupboards are empty and bins are overflowing. The ‘phones are dead and the toilets won’t flush. The kitchen is full of equipment that doesn’t work and the fridge is bare. The bills didn’t get paid because the money ran out. A stack of resignation letters is stacked haphazardly on a desk; staff didn’t get paid, so they left. You are standing in a school without an SBM.

Okay, admittedly, this is a little apocalyptic – but you get where I’m coming from! You are not just a cog; you’re not even just a ‘useful’ cog. You are an essential cog.

To be honest, if you’re doing your job well then people will probably not pay attention at all to what you do, because it’s seamless. Everything works; the budget gets set and the money gets spent appropriately, the lights stay on, the heating kicks in at 7am, the children get their fish fingers, the science text books get ordered, the site gates are unlocked and locked, the rubbish gets removed, the paint stains are cleaned from the carpet, teachers get paid and can go Christmas shopping… it’s a machine so slick that it becomes invisible…and nobody questions it.

So, if when it’s good, it’s invisible – what does it all mean? Should it be taken for granted? Does it make what you do less valuable somehow? No!

Your role is to support the delivery of quality education provision. Everything you do, directly or indirectly, contributes to this mission. By starting from this position you should not only be able to see your role more broadly, but also with clarity.

When you are clear of the value that your role provides, you can then articulate it to your SLT and staff in a way that they can understand:

• Why is it important that they save money here, but spend it over there?
• What risks are we escaping if we do something this way instead of another way?
• What impact can we have if we do this differently from the way that we’ve always done it?
• What will this initiative allow us to offer tomorrow that we can’t today?
• What support can our team give you to make this happen faster and more effectively?
• What can our team do to support teachers to deliver more effectively in the classroom?
• What information can I give you to help you make a truly informed decision?

You may lead number of teams, and work alongside the senior leadership team, but nobody in the school has first-hand knowledge of the demands of your role or the capacity required to deliver it. You are the ‘only one’. You are unique.

To be part of the team you don’t have to be the same as the team. Wear your uniqueness like a badge and shine brightly like the star that you are!

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Written for: Education Executive Magazine (@edexec)

“How do I prepare for, and carry out, difficult conversations with team members?”

I cannot tell you how many SBMs have asked me this – it is one of the most common questions I get asked as a coach and mentor. And there’s a reason for that; no matter how experienced you are, having a difficult conversation with a team member is always challenging. There are so many types of ‘difficult’ conversation (performance, conduct, absence, informal, investigative, formal) and each one is unique. Why? Because we’re dealing with people – people’s motivations, behaviours, responses – all of which are either not entirely obvious or completely unpredictable.

For this reason, I’m going to share with you some advice to consider in all of the above scenarios.

Be sure you are the right person to have the conversation

Whilst they may be part of your team, what they have done – or whether you are the right person to address what they have done – should be considered carefully. In some circumstances it may be that it is more appropriate for someone else to have the conversation. Don’t get me wrong, you usually are the right person but complex cases might mean thinking ‘outside of the box’.

Be sure that you’ve got your facts straight

In certain situations there is irrefutable evidence; however, in many, we have to rely on our judgement about what’s right, what’s not and what constitutes acceptable standards. Before you sit down with a team member, ensure that you are clear on why you have determined their behaviour/performance to be unacceptable and your reasons for raising it now.

Consider all evidence

Don’t restrict yourself to the issue at hand; take a wider look at context. Is this change in behaviour or performance recent? Is there an obvious trigger? Has there been a change to their role or responsibilities? Is there something going on at home? All of these factors will likely come into play during the meeting so include any information you already know into your meeting preparation.

Get yourself in the right mindset

You need to go into the meeting open-minded in order to avoid jumping to conclusions. It’s easy to overlay a narrative onto a situation when, in reality, you only have half the story. Until you speak to your team member, you can’t assume anything. The focus of the meeting isn’t to judge, it’s to find out what’s going on. Approach the meeting with curiosity and ask as many questions as you need to, to find out what you need to know. Decide what you want your ideal outcome to be, but be flexible in your approach. Be prepared to truly listen and consider what the right outcome is based on what you’re hearing.

Prepare a framework for your discussion

Some people use scripts; I prefer frameworks. Bullet the key points and milestones you need to hit in the meeting as well as any key phrases you may be required to say, in accordance with policy. Make sure that your meeting closes strong i.e. you’re clear about your expectations, moving forward, what the consequences are if these are not met and any actions that you agree to take. If the conversation goes completely off-piste, and you’re not sure what to do, don’t be afraid to adjourn the meeting and agree to schedule another once you’ve had time to reflect.

Remember to follow up

Whatever you’ve agreed to do as a result of your conversation, do it. Arrange another meeting or a check-in meeting, source appropriate CPD, refer them to occupational health etc. This is crucial – especially if you expect a formal process to progress – you must deliver on everything you said you would, in a timely and reasonable manner.

And finally…

It’s natural to doubt yourself at first – it shows you are taking your responsibility as a manager seriously – but when you start to worry about how the person will respond to you, or what other staff will think of you, you can begin to talk yourself out of having the conversation at all.

Stop! Take a moment to check in with yourself. What do you think about the situation? Ask yourself what would happen if you didn’t have that conversation? Who would be impacted if this issue didn’t get addressed? Is it fair to other staff that this staff member acts in this way? What kind of school do you work in and does this person represent a good example of its values?

If you go into a meeting not only knowing the facts but also knowing that what you are doing is the right thing, then the fog of fear begins to lift, and your confidence begins to grow. Sure, the member of staff might not be happy with what you have to say – but the cost of not saying it is much higher.

If you’re still feeling anxious about having a difficult conversation or you have a particular difficult member of staff on your team, I’ve put together a free, detailed step-by-step guide so you can be confident in what you’re doing and what you’re saying – just click the image below to download:

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Written for: Education Executive Magazine (@edexec)

“What do I do when I’m out of my depth, but I can’t tell my boss or they’ll think I’m incompetent?”

Right, you’ve made some pretty big statements here so I’m going to unpick them a little bit to help you work out what your next step should be. Grab a pen and a piece of paper and work through this prescribed exercise. Trust me – this is #SBLSurgery!

Step 1:

You’ve told me you’re ‘out of your depth’. Whilst you may be feeling overwhelmed right now, it’s really important that we dig into this and what it specifically means to you.

Write down exactly what it is that is causing you to feel out of your depth. It could be:

• Workload and time management – you know you are able to do everything, but there aren’t enough hours in the day.
• Work/life balance – you’ve come up with the answer to ‘hours in the day’ by working evenings and weekends.
• Relationships with colleagues – you’re not getting the support you need from other staff/senior leaders.
• Knowledge – maybe you don’t feel as up-to-speed or as experienced as you’d like to be in certain areas.
• Line management responsibilities – you line manage a lot of people; it’s time consuming and you absolutely hate it.

It may be one or more of the above – it might even be something completely different, and that’s okay. But, the more specific we can be about the issues that you’re facing, the easier it will be for us to put plans in place to address them.

When you’ve identified the specific areas that are making you feel out of your depth, spend some time reflecting on how you got here and when it started to get really bad. Maybe it was a breakdown in communication or of a working relationship. Maybe you’re operating within a structure that has inefficient ways of working, or maybe there has been an increasing conflict of priorities or a difference of opinion.

Step 2:

Now ask yourself: if you could wave a magic wand tomorrow, and make this problem go away, what would your world look like then? What would change? What would be better?

If you’re thinking that the problem you have is completely out of your control and you don’t have the power to resolve it, ask yourself, ‘How can I mitigate the impact? What changes can I make to how I work? Do I need to look to other colleagues to help me resolve this?’

Write down a set of action steps that will take you from where you are now and on the yellow brick road to ‘magic wand world’. These might include:

• Reviewing your job description.
• Studying for a qualification.
• Undertaking bespoke training to develop a specific skill eg. time management, having difficult conversations etc.
• Finding a mentor.
• Working with a coach.
• Arranging a meeting or speaking with a colleague or your line manager.
• Short-term support measures such as a day working from home, delegation to a colleague for a period of time, etc.

It might even be applying for another job!

There are no right or wrong answers here; the aim is to help you to move away from the emotion of your situation and into a practical mindset.

Step 3:

You conclude by saying that that you can’t tell your boss how you are feeling or they’ll think you are incompetent.

Consider first whether your perception is truly accurate because maybe, just maybe, you’ve lost a little bit of perspective. What makes you think this? How do you know that this is a truth and not just an assumption? Have you given them the chance to support you? Have they ever made you feel negatively about yourself before?

If your relationship with your boss really isn’t great, and they would be the last person you would confide in about how you are feeling, then this is ok too! I’ve felt this way about a lot of my bosses.

However, there are ways you can articulate what you need to your boss without feeling like you’re exposing your vulnerabilities too much. Using your list of concrete actions and the list of things you need to help you get where you need to be, you can approach your boss in a very objective and pragmatic way.

For example, you might say – ‘Project x is behind because of y. To complete it, I need w and z to get it done.’ This could be a day working from home, time with a colleague to receive input, support from a colleague for a period of time to allow you to give your complete focus to the problematic task, additional training, etc.

If you can be specific about the issues, and clear about your need, then the emotion is removed and the conversation remains practical.

Now whilst this approach might be the magic solution that helps you to meet your boss where they are, and give you the control you need over the situation, it also might not be. It could be a band-aid for a relationship that’s truly broken down.

The importance of being valued

Right now, you may not feel valued by your head; your salary may not reflect your skills or your responsibility and you may wonder what on earth the point of speaking up is at all. But, the fact is, you owe it to yourself to be seen, to be heard, to be valued and to be recognised. Don’t give up. If you don’t do anything about this situation then everybody loses. More importantly, you lose. You will deskill yourself by default.

If you can, hand on heart, say that you’ve done all you can where you are now, then you need to be preparing for that next job; that job interview at that school where that headteacher wants to hear what you have to say, wants to take your advice, wants to make sure you’re recognised for what you do and, even more importantly, wants to support you.

You can do what needs to be done; I’ve got every faith in you.

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Written for: Education Executive Magazine (@edexec)